An Update from Mama

Hey all.  I must warn you up front, I (Melissa) am writing the blog tonight so don't expect the normal wit and great writing that you usually receive from Travis.  :)This blog is about Tyson so I'll just jump right in to it.  Ty is doing really well.  He had surgery and it was a rough road for a while there.  He wouldn't take his pain medicine and was in bad shape.  You know those plastic surgery patients that you see on t.v., the ones with the black and blue eyes and lots of swelling?  Well, just imagine that scenario on the face of our tiny little guy.  Poor thing.  The two or three weeks following surgery Tyson was just generally grumpy.  We think that he was really mad at us and we felt like he took a few steps back in the bonding department.  Good news now though, things are back to normal.  He's his normal, happy, active little self.   His speech hasn't changed much but his palate is now 'together' as h

e puts it.  Immediately before the surge

ry Ty would tell other people to say 'ahh' so he could see if anyone else had a hole in their mouths and needed surgery.  After the surgery he was proud to show off

 his 'together' mouth and still asked for some 'ahhs' in case there was still a hole out there somewhere.

The last few weeks have brought about a lot of progress for Ty.  He's been to two birthday parties and loved every moment of them.  Twice a week he goes to speech therapy.  Tomorrow morning he will have an assessment for preschool.  This Sunday

 has to be mentioned.  Thanks to a very patient friend (Ashley), Tyson went to Sunday school!  This marked his first significant time away from Trav and I without being with

 another family member.  We just couldn't be happier!

Chinese New Year was less than two weeks after surgery so we had a small get together in celebration.  Ty had just had the packing taken out of the roof of his mouth but still had a face full of stitches and blood, but still loved it.  I think that our attempts at this traditional party fleshed out to look something like a Chinese New Year/American New Year/birthday party event.  We

 tried our best and hope it is memorable to him.  Our decorations were from Party City, our food was a mix of Chinese and American and our 7 candies were mostly American (including some sugar-filled Fun Dip).  

Of course we are just typical proud parents but we really do think he's bright. He's picking up new words every day.  My friend Andrea asked a few weeks ago how I thought that he was like me and I didn't have any good answers.  Just a few days later I realized 

that he has a lot of my dramatic mannerisms.  All day long he says, 'come on mama, let's go mama, oh jeez and oh man.'  With a very emphatic nod of his head he  rolls his eyes at whatever he wants to silently comment on.  Silence is not something we get much of, thankfully of course

.  Our little chatter bug just never stops talking.  I often have to interpret his mixture of snuffely Mandarin and 4 year old English for others.  He loves to recount his time away from me.  What a hoot.

Today it snowed, well, Virginia Beach's version of snow.  When he looked at my car he said 'snowman on mama's car'. (My Aunt Deb and Uncle Georgie bought him the Frosty the Snowman book for Christmas so if you even say the word sn

ow he sings the song over and over.  He just can't understand that there is a differnce between snow and a snowman, too funny.) There was really only a little snow and ice but to him it was a thing of magic.  Even tho

ugh the snow was only on the grass and cars I still took him out to play in it.  Mostly he just

 kicked icicles off of our cars.  Towards the end of our play time I suggested that 

he take his glove off and touch the snow.  He said 'aww yucky'.  That's his g

eneral term for anything wet or actually yucky.

Sometimes he does things out of nowhere.  A few days ago Tyson was eating lunch and when he finished he popped off of the chair and ran for the tape measure.  He then measured himself.  I can only assume that someone told him he would grow to be a big boy if he ate all of his food.  Who knows.  Now he does it after almost every meal.  

We're all still enjoying life in Va Beach.  Trav's mom and dad are close by and watch him when I go to work on Mondays.  He loves to hit the beach or just hang out with them.  Ty is stil

l adjusting to life in the US and being a

 Jacques but we just can'

t even express how happy we are.  There just aren't words to express the joy of getting to see the answer to our prayers and our dreams walk around our house and call us mama and baba.

Thanks for hanging in with us!

Surgery 1; Tyson 0

It has been a long couple days.  We were up at 430am yesterday and at the hospital by 530am for Tyson's cleft palate repair, cleft lip and nose revision.  Surgery got underway about 8am - after a few snags and some resistance from Tyson.  Melissa had to gown up and go with him into the prep room and hold him as they gave him orange flavored laughing gas.  After that he went off the surgery and we sat helpless in the waiting room for HOURS.  We got hourly updates from a nurse in the OR but nothing more than that things were going well and on time.  

Dr Roche, the ENT, went first to check Ty's ears under sedation - Ty has not allowed any medical personnel near his ears since China, throwing monster tantrums if they even get close with an otoscope - and today we found out why. Or, at least part of the reason.  Dr. Roche pulled a bead the size of a pea out of Ty's right ear and it looked like it had been there a while.  He has not been in contact with any beads here in the states and the bead looks curiously "china-like"; so who knows how long this thing has been pressing against him eardrum.  My dad scoffed at the idea of the bead looking "Chinese", but upon seeing the bead in it's specimen container he said, "I'll be darned, it does look Chinese!"  Ty also had the pleasure of having tubes put in his ears to help with fluid drainage.

The palate and lip surgery went well but took a long time by our clock.  My mom came to keep us company and we're sure glad we had her there for support. We were finally called back to the PACU a little after 1pm and sat with him until he came to.   PACU rules dictate only two adults are allowed with each child - so mom and I traded off once for her to spend some time with Tyson in recovery.  We didn't actually get to Ty's room until after 5pm, but it was a single occupant room and that was well worth the wait.  Ty's been in a lot of pain but has refuse to take the liquid oral medications he's been offered, so he's been really fussy.  I stayed with Ty until a little after 8pm last night and them my dad and I left.  The hospital let both Melissa and my mom stay the night with Tyson in his room.  The plan was that they could have a continuous vigil throughout the night and take turns resting/sleeping.  Ah, the best laid plans....

Tyson would only receive comfort from Melissa and got upset and even furious if Melissa left his bedside -even going to the restroom became a major ordeal.   He was all around miserable and was very fussy to deal with.  So, neither Melissa nor my mom got any sleep last night.  And I had to work today, so I wasn't able to get home until after 3pm today.  He has hardly said anything today other than "out", as in "I want out of this hospital."  They finally let the little guy at 1pm.  He's still not willing to take any fluids or food but he was on an IV all night and we can attest that he was very well hydrated.  Standing pee breaks became an hourly ritual last night.

So, it's 5pm now.  Tyson is fitfully sleeping on the couch and Melissa is knocked out in the bedroom for some well deserved sleep.  I am watching over the little guy who seems to wake up about once every 15 minutes, cries for a few minutes and then drifts off again.  He does not receive comfort very well and looks at me like "you did this to me!"  In short, he has been miserable.  So, even though the surgery went well (thank the Lord), the recovery has been very difficult.  Please keep him in your prayers; specifically he needs to start taking his meds, drinking fluids and eating soft foods - all of which he refuses to do right now.  Melissa had me pick up some Tylenol suppositories to, er, circumvent the fluid refusal part, but if he thought drinking children's Tylenol was painful...  Anyhow, we are hoping to get some pain meds and antibiotics into him tonight, so that could use some praying over.  I'll keep y'all posted on the progress.

Travis

Tyson's Big Day

Tomorrow Tyson is scheduled to undergo surgery to correct his cleft palate.  We have done everything we can to prepare him for the big day.  He knows he is going to get the hole in his mouth fixed "together" and that he is going to wake up with a boo-boo.  We have to be at the hospital at 5:45am. Yikes!  So, the little guy is fast asleep and we are trying to hit the hay early so we have enough energy to make it through the day.  Surgery time is 730am.  I will post an update tomorrow to let everyone know how he's doing.  Please keep him in your prayers.  

Seasons Greetings!

Well, here we are at the close of 2008 and what a crazy-awesome year it has been. For starters: This has been the year of Tyson! This year we went from being DINKs (Double Income No Kids) to full-fledged, sleepless parents of a 4-year-old boy!  Tada!  In other words, we are the proud parents of Tyson Qiang Jacques, an amazing little boy we adopted from China in August.  That is easily the highlight of our year and all events since that wonderful day have sort of orbited around him.  It’s actually hard for me to remember what else we did this year since our lives so drastically changed for the better just a few short months ago. 

 First of all, we still reside in Virginia Beach in the beautiful home we bought years ago before the economy imploded.  I’m sure the value of our house had spiraled down to half what we bought it for but we aren’t planning on going anywhere soon so we should be fine. We attend a great church and have some great friends we love to hang out with.  Up until we got Tyson, Melissa and I helped run a twenty-something bible study for our church.  Post-Tyson we have not been able to get him to bed and be at the bible study at the same time.  We’re still trying to figure out how to make this work as some of our best friends on the planet are Tuesday night regulars at the study group.

On the business side of things, I was promoted this summer and (in addition to spending two joyous hours a day commuting back and forth to the peninsula) I now manage 3 PT clinics for Mary Immaculate Hospital.  So, instead of the headache of running one clinic with all its fun schedules, personalities and dysfunctions, I now have three headaches!  Or at least one headache that is three times worse…Awesome!  Actually, I am very happy in my job and I have the privilege of working with some fine people. The sense of accomplishment far outweighs the headaches.

Melissa is no longer an education coordinator for the emergency department at CHKD.  After we picked up Tyson she took a few months leave and she is now back “on the floor” as a nurse.  Her new position (which is really her old, old position) is flexible enough to allow her to spend most of her days at home with the little dude and only have to work one or two 8 hour shifts a week.  She is very happy with her new schedule.

So, back to the Tyson Adventure.  From start to finish, the whole process took 20 months.  I won’t get into the specifics of that arduous journey other than to say it was a rough road and the only reason we have a son now is because Melissa is an organizational savant who steered us through a complex paperwork jungle.  The short version is that after months of waiting, we received news in July that we would be traveling to China to get our son. We had applied for him way back in January and had been waiting for clearance to go get him from his hometown of Chongqing (pronounced chong-ching).  So, with about six weeks notice, we (Melissa, her mom and I) packed up and flew to Beijing, via Detroit and Tokyo.  It was a 27 hour journey each way – not anything I want to do again anytime soon.  We were in China a total of 15 days: three different hotels, three different cities.  We got Tyson on day 4, and spent the remainder of our trip getting to know this little wonder who spoke no English and had never had real parents – or a real bed, or his own toys, or his own clothes before.  He was one of over 600 kids in a massive six-floor orphanage in a city of 17 million.  And in one day, one moment, his destiny was changed forever.  He became our son. And we became a family.  And my heart clenches up just trying to write the words.  Our lives - all three of us - have been irrevocably changed for the better, for the best. 

Since our return to the U.S., Tyson has gotten a new name (it wasn’t Tyson in China in case you were wondering), a new citizenship and a new extended family.  He has met all of Melissa’s family in Philly – grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc.  He has flown to Atlanta to visit his Yi Mu – Melissa’s sister – and her family. He has been to NYC to visit my hip, Manhattanite sister.  And he is a regular fixture at Grampow and Nai-Nai’s – that would be my parents – who live just 3 miles away.

It has been a season of firsts for all of us.  Tyson is the first grandson to both sets of parents.  He had his first true birthday party (he turned 4 in September). He also experienced his first Halloween (he went as a turtle), his first Thanksgiving (he liked the mashed potatoes), and in a week he will experience his first Christmas.  He has no idea why we have a tree in our living room or why we strung up lights in the bushes outside; he just thinks everything we do is SO cool.

Tyson, little buddy, you have no idea!  We are just getting started!

So join Melissa and me as we celebrate the birth of our Savior and the birth of our family.

Merry Christmas!

Love,

The Jacques 

Holloween

New Words

Firetruck
Raining
Tired
Sleeping
Circle
I love you
Bye Bye
Water
Mater
House
Turtle
Sawyer
Baby

sorry so long

Hello to any blogfans that still might be checking this site. I'm sorry it has been so long since I last posted but the rigors of fatherhood and bosshood have been overwhelming and I just haven't had the umph or concentration at night to put all the things I should be posting on line. Nevertheless we are finally settling into something resembling a routine and I feel like our heads are finally breaking the surface. So, I will attempt to post progress notes at least once a week and hopefully a bit more.

Today commemorates the second week in a row that Ty sat through a full church service (well almost full - in typical Jacques fashion we arrived 15 minutes late for service - and when I say Jacques I mean just this small branch of the family tree not the whole tree - so, no mom I didn't mean you, dad or Erin). Anywho, he has managed to make his way through two services without too much noise or discontent. It helped that Eric used a banana as a prop during his sermon - that kept Ty focused for at least 5 minutes. The other thing about arriving 15 minutes late is that seating is a bit of a crap shoot. At the 11am service, being tardy means you get your pick of the back left corner (our typical stomping grounds). But the 930 service is a different beast altogether - there's no parking and no slacker seating in the back of the room. Instead, we got put into the megaslacker seating - right up front where your slackerness is displayed in all it's glory as you march down the isle during the singing and plop yourselves down next to some unlucky soul who now has the unfortunate fate of sitting next to the loud, Chinese kid who likes to smack his die cast Nascars together and make Mandarin commentary throughout the service. So, we've managed two weeks straight and that is a small miracle.

What else...well, Ty had his first doctors visit this last week. Poor Ty had to get six shots, four in one leg and two in the other. He worked himself up into a lather over those but really freaked out when they tried to take his blood - which they had to do in both arms and still couldn't find a vein. So, he had to go back the next day and have 'the pro' do it. And he was a pro and he did great. But that first day was quite a doozy and for the next two days Ty's legs were all bruised up and he was walking around the house like Frankenstein with a limp. It would have been comical if it wasn't so sad.

We did the annual Naval Air Show last weekend and it was AWESOME. Ty had zero problems with the screaming afterburners and near supersonic jet noise. He LOVED the Blue Angels and the tactical demonstrations of the fighter jets. He has been zooming around the house with his arms out making airplane sounds all week. See Picture Pages below for some great shots of us at the show.

Ty is beginning to parrot back many of our sayings and words. He probably doesn't know what half the things he's saying mean but he is picking up English. Yahoo! Each day he tends to key in on one word or phrase and repeat it endlessly. Today was "tired", yesterday was "sleeping" (complete with hand motions) and the day before was "it's raining" because, well, it was raining - a lot - that day.

Well, that's all I have time for tonight. I'll try to be better with the updates from here on out.

BTW, my little dude is AWESOME!!!